4.20.2010

Hello Everyone

Hi Everyone,

This year has been INCREDIBLY hard and I finally have some time to myself since ten days ago.

I'll start from the beginning:

In November my parents came for Thanksgiving and stayed a week and a half. Then my father's mother died, I missed 4 days of work as well as being so very sick at the same time. I would have been home sick the entire week if I hadn't been up in the 'county'.

Then I was sick through December and January, I was better then got sick again in February. I saw my parents for Christmas (a week) and again for almost a week in February.

I was very busy in March rehearsing for the musical at my school and my parents came to my production - it was then that I noticed my dad's health really fading.

To celebrate my new found freedom from the musical being finished, my husband and I bought a new iMac on a Thursday, then on Easter Sunday our water heater let go. On Friday I took a personal day to purchase my new car. Then on Saturday my mother called to tell me my father had died.

I didn't even hear the phone ring, but as soon as my husband came into the room I looked up and asked, "did dad die" . . . .I had been preparing for this for so long, and I think I held myself together very well - for my mother.

I got on the ONE bus that went to the county and inevitably there's a whole side story for that: the bus driver was a country singer selling his CDs on the bus - Archie Rivers. It was incredible. I nice bright spot in my 5+hour journey.

I have had a couple of minor breakdowns but I think I'm handling it pretty well. I'm sure there will be up days and down days.

My birthday was on April 14, the day of the funeral for my father. At first I was hesitant about having it, but then I decided that what's best for the family is best for me and that I would always celebrate my father's life on my birthday .

I'm so very glad that I learned how to operate carpentry machines and built my own step stool. I'm happy that I learned why manhole covers are round, I'm glad he told me to write all my words with the same slant. I'm glad I learned how to speak French from him. I'm glad I taught him how to use a computer, and he taught me how to enjoy solving crossword puzzles. I'm so glad that he was able to dance with me at my wedding.

I'm so glad for so many things, but most of all I'm just glad that he was able to be a part of my life for 32 years. He loved me and I loved him - I know he died with his dignity and without suffering. And I know that he's in a much better place now - I love you Dad!

7 comments:

Anonymous,  April 20, 2010 at 10:39 PM  

What a trying time you've had. I'm sure you've found strength you never knew you had. This is a beautiful tribute to your dad. Thanks for sharing such a sensitive subject.

Meghann LittleStudio April 21, 2010 at 9:21 PM  

Oh Renovia, I am so very sorry to hear of your trials. I can't imagine your pain and stress right now. I will pray for you and I hope that things get better from here.
Hugs,
Meghann

cocoacream April 21, 2010 at 11:07 PM  

Oh dear, Renovia! I had been missing your posts and wondering how you have been. So sorry to hear that things have been so rough. May you find God's peace and strength to help you through this difficult time!

Teri and the cats of Furrydance April 22, 2010 at 8:25 AM  

Oh, I just want to hug you. Your grace and reflection at a time like this, feels so right and helps us all remember the things that make a life well lived. As my therapist told me when Mike died...you will love him on another plane now, and that is comforting.

Mishkat April 27, 2010 at 8:08 PM  

Hi Renovia - I've been off-line for a while, so am just now reading this. I am so sorry to hear about your dad's passing. (My dad died when I was 32, also, and it was not easy.) I, too, am glad he was able to be a part of your life for this long - and that you have such good things to remember about him.

Anyway, I know it's really hard to lose a parent (for a number of reasons) and I hope that you're doing all right.

Love,
Katie

renovia April 27, 2010 at 9:04 PM  

Katie I'd love for you to email me about your experience, I have very few people to actually talk to about this year and my husband can only take so much!

PussDaddy April 29, 2010 at 1:56 AM  

I am really sad to hear that you have been going through so much. I am so sorry to hear about it all. I am sorry you lost your dad and your grandmother. I hope you get to feeling better health wise too. Happy late birthday too, even though you have probably had better ones. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

PussDaddy

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