This year has been INCREDIBLY hard and I finally have some time to myself since ten days ago.
I'll start from the beginning:
In November my parents came for Thanksgiving and stayed a week and a half. Then my father's mother died, I missed 4 days of work as well as being so very sick at the same time. I would have been home sick the entire week if I hadn't been up in the 'county'.
Then I was sick through December and January, I was better then got sick again in February. I saw my parents for Christmas (a week) and again for almost a week in February.
I was very busy in March rehearsing for the musical at my school and my parents came to my production - it was then that I noticed my dad's health really fading.
To celebrate my new found freedom from the musical being finished, my husband and I bought a new iMac on a Thursday, then on Easter Sunday our water heater let go. On Friday I took a personal day to purchase my new car. Then on Saturday my mother called to tell me my father had died.
I didn't even hear the phone ring, but as soon as my husband came into the room I looked up and asked, "did dad die" . . . .I had been preparing for this for so long, and I think I held myself together very well - for my mother.
I got on the ONE bus that went to the county and inevitably there's a whole side story for that: the bus driver was a country singer selling his CDs on the bus - Archie Rivers. It was incredible. I nice bright spot in my 5+hour journey.
I have had a couple of minor breakdowns but I think I'm handling it pretty well. I'm sure there will be up days and down days.
My birthday was on April 14, the day of the funeral for my father. At first I was hesitant about having it, but then I decided that what's best for the family is best for me and that I would always celebrate my father's life on my birthday .
I'm so very glad that I learned how to operate carpentry machines and built my own step stool. I'm happy that I learned why manhole covers are round, I'm glad he told me to write all my words with the same slant. I'm glad I learned how to speak French from him. I'm glad I taught him how to use a computer, and he taught me how to enjoy solving crossword puzzles. I'm so glad that he was able to dance with me at my wedding.
I'm so glad for so many things, but most of all I'm just glad that he was able to be a part of my life for 32 years. He loved me and I loved him - I know he died with his dignity and without suffering. And I know that he's in a much better place now - I love you Dad!